omgsh mikey

. The noise of the clicking clock echoed through the empty home. A single snore came with every minute that passed. A boy released these hallow, moan, grunts. At fifteen, ...

I liked this a lot, and I would definitely critique it but I found nothing other than what the others have posted already, and I don't want to sound like ...

A/N: Well, here it is! The second part of chapter one. I hope you guys like it! Oh, also, if you feel like it's moving a little fast, it's supposed ...

Oh, thank you so much for critiquing this! I've been waiting every so patiently for someone to review it on here (even though it's only been like three days). “Thanks,” ...

I don't know how I feel about the two paragraphs about Ebony and Jack. The seem a little unnecessary and there to take up space. Maybe if you managed to ...

A/N: ALAS! I have returned! I don't even know how long I was gone for... Anyway, I spent all day on this yesterday, and was hoping that you guys could ...

He sat at the opposite end of the couch, [s]inhaling on[/s] "smoking" would seem more appropriate his cigarette and playing with my cell phone. I watched him coyly, silently, nearly ...

I'm not sure anyone else covered this: When you have dialogue, each time someone speaks, it gets it's own line, i.e., “Apparently you weren’t too old for it two weeks ...

I really enjoyed this piece. I felt like I could really relate to Sydney, even though she's much much smarter than I am. Shane came off as really creepy, but ...

Negative: The language, at times, seemed very awkward and tense. They were very formal all the time and it got kind of annoying after a while. At times the piece ...

It's good, but I'm not much of a fan of second person. Ok, well, there wasn't many mistakes that I saw. I wasn't digging the "..." in front and after ...

That was beautiful. Man, I wish I could write like you. That was just... breathtaking. Wow. You need to get published. And make a lot of money. I'd buy your ...

I really enjoyed this piece. It was definitely true. I've gotten reviews like that on other sites and I've wanted to rip someone's brains out, but then I always remind ...

I understood it until they said "where did you find this guy?" because I thought that they were talking about a girl.

It was quite funny, but it seemed like you switch point of view. It looked like to me that it went from third person to first person. I think it ...